Relationships and Cancer
- Amid her ongoing metastatic breast cancer battle, 53-year-old actress Shannen Doherty has opened up about her short-lived marriage to poker player Rick Salomon and the friendship they’ve maintained amid adversity.
- Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. It went into remission in 2017 but returned as stage 4 cancer in 2019. Her breast cancer has since spread to her brain causing her to undergo surgery to remove a tumor in her brain.
- Metastatic breast cancer, also called “stage four” breast cancer, means that the cancer has spread, or metastasized, beyond the breasts to other parts of the body. There is technically no cure, but advancements in treatments can dramatically improve outcomes and that is something to be hopeful for.
- Going through cancer treatment can be a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience, so it can help to have a strong relationship to lean on for support. That being said, it’s important to notice what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much during your cancer journey and that includes your relationships.
- Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously told SurvivorNet that emotions will be fluid when battling cancer. SurvivorNet has other great mental health resources for you, as well as films that will inspire you.
Doherty, who recently dealt with another divorce from her husband of 11 years, Kurt Iswarienko, had a short-lived relationship with Salomon after her marriage to actor Ashley Hamilton, which also lasted just one year, between 1993 to 1994. Despite her failed marriages, Doherty understands all too well the importance of relationships and support amid adversity.
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“So technically we don’t have to call each other ex-wife and ex-husband because we got annulled, but we still do. And we got married super fast.”
Salomon recounted it being only “three weeks” of dating before they decided to get married in Vegas, but Doherty said, “Was it only three weeks? No way!”
Doherty continued, “I remember we were in your car and we were at the Beverly connection, the one across from the Beverly center and we were having this conversation. And the conversation ended with, “Alright, so lets get married.”
She added, “And so we did. We went to Vegas. And I had a witness, you had a witness. And then I said to you, ‘I can’t be married without my dad being there and my mom.’
“And you’re like, ‘If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right now.'”
When Salomon said he remembered her parents being at their Vegas wedding, Doherty confirmed “they were definitely there” as they had called them up to invite them beforehand.
“That was wild,” Doherty described their quick decision to wed.
As for anyone curious as to why Doherty has chosen to remain friends with her ex-husband Salomon, she explained, “It may have been tumultuous at times in our marriage, but at the end of the day I always loved you. You always made me laugh. You always made me smile.
“Sometimes you made me cry, but that’s only when you didn’t come home because you were off doing other stuff. Not cheating or any of that stuff, but other stuff. You can tell your story when you want.”
The Power of Support
Doherty, later went on to say, “I wanted to be married to you, I wanted it to work out, but it wasn’t going to work because he needed to go through a lot more stuff and find his true sobriety. Which you’ve done.”
Solomon ultimately admitted he took charge of his live and chose a path of sobriety when his “whole life started falling apart,” which Doherty commended him for.
Shannen Doherty’s Cancer Battle
Shannen Doherty first received a breast cancer diagnosis in 2015 after she discovered a lump in her breast. For treatments the first time around, she underwent hormone therapy, a single mastectomy (the removal of all breast tissue from one breast), chemotherapy and radiation.
Sometimes Bad Things Happen — Enjoying Life, Even With Cancer
Then in 2017, Doherty was deemed to be in remission, however, the cancer returned just two years later in 2019 as metastatic, or stage four, breast cancer.
There is technically no cure for metastatic breast cancer, but that doesn’t mean people can’t live good, long lives with this stage of disease thanks to many advances in treatment.
Doherty took to Instagram at the start of 2023 to recap how her cancer fight is going. She underwent her first round of radiation to her head on Jan. 12, 2023, followed by brain surgery to remove and biopsy a tumor on Jan. 16, 2023. The surgery she underwent is called a craniotomy.
Several neurosurgeons tell SurvivorNet that the procedure can allow patients with cancer in their brain to live longer, more vibrant lives, and this appears to be the case with Doherty, who has become more candid amid cancer through her “Lets Be Clear” podcast.
Treating Metastatic Breast Cancer
Relationships and Cancer
Any relationship goes through its ups and downs, especially when something unfortunate happens, like a cancer diagnosis or medical issue.
In this episode of SurvivorNetTV’s series, SN & You. Mental Health and Relationships, survivors share how they handle their mental health and relationships while undergoing cancer treatment.
How to Navigate Relationships When Depression Hits – A Survivor’s Guide
“My husband and I had actually been separated for two years and we had only recently reconciled,” says Mary Elizabeth Williams, in the film. “As painful and awful and crappy as it all was, we chose to be there for reach other.”
We all get depressed from time to time or we have a bad day “that’s part of normal human emotion,” Dr. Irwin adds. “And sometimes it gets to the point where that depression can be a little bit overwhelming and we help them through therapy.”
It’s no secret that fighting cancer can be extremely overwhelming, so having physical and emotional support during your battle is crucial. That being said, it’s very important to know your limits on what you can handle including relationships during treatment.
Cancer Survivor Vera Trifunovich Says Her Sisterhood Of Support Helped Amid Treatment
“Going through treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much… [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
Dr. Strongin does note, however, that having people by your side during this “arduous chapter” of your life can be hugely beneficial.
“Studies have found consistently that loneliness is a significant risk factor for physical and mental illnesses and the trajectory of recovery,” she wrote. “Therefore, it will be important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment.”
RELATED: Sex and Cancer: How to Communicate Your Desires & Fears and Create New Sexual Experiences
For actress and melanoma survivor Jill Kargman, cancer was a true test of the strength for her relationship. In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Kargman says the disease “is a great way to find out if you’re with the love of your life or a shithead.”
Jill Kargman on Relationships and Cancer
“I think it presses the fast forward button on getting to the bottom of that answer, because a lot of people in middle age are kind of at a crossroads, waiting for their kids to fly the coop,” Kargman said.
“I think if you’re with someone who is not supportive and kind of emotionally checked out or doesn’t tell you you’re still beautiful with that, this might not be your person.”
‘Faith, Family, and Friends’ Helped Beverly Reeves Get Through Ovarian Cancer Treatment
How to be Resilient in the Face of Adversity
Doherty’s health journey had an impact on strengthening her resilience in the face of adversity. Despite coping with cancer treatment and divorce, Doherty continues to persevere and make the most of her life, by spending time with loves ones and helping animals in need.
Resilience is an important trait to have in the face of adversity such as cancer.
WATCH: Resilience: Staying Positive Despite Adversity
SurvivorNet spotlighted this important cancer-fighting trait in the film “Resilience,” which is streaming on SurvivorNet. It follows the lives of three athletes who are living with a health challenge yet overcame adversity.
You can build resilience the way you build muscle through patience and steady exercise of the skill. Here are some lessons taken from the film.
- Be willing to learn. If one way doesn’t work, find a different way. If an obstacle lands in your way, build a path around it or over it.
- Spend time with people who inspire you.
- Allow yourself to grieve. Don’t push away or dismiss your frustration and sadness. Give yourself grace when your emotions run high.
- Be flexible. Understand there are multiple ways to accomplish a goal. If your original method does not work, find another.
- Lean into your community. Consider using your support group made up of your friends, colleagues, and family. Remember when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed by a problem, their support can carry you.
The Power of Support
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