Singer-songwriter Melissa Etheridge and Wife Linda Wallem Celebrate Shared Birthday, Sings ‘Happy 64th’ While Embracing Strength After Cancer and Loss

 

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In the shared social media video, the loving couple says they are having a “fun birthday” while singing together, expressing gratitude, and eagerly awaiting a birthday dinner at Cathy’s Kitchen.

Etheridge previously told People Magazine about her shared birthday, “We’re Gemini, so we just think we’re the coolest. We just have a lot of fun.”

Etheridge and Wallem married in 2014 but met during the early 2000s.

It was during the early 2000s that Etheridge’s life went through a series of ups and downs as she coped with an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis and the loss of her oldest child to an opioid addiction.

RELATED: How Can Gratitude Lead to a Healthier Mindset?

Etheridge’s Inspiring Cancer Journey

Etheridge’s diagnosis came after she discovered a lump in her left breast. A biopsy confirmed her breast cancer diagnosis. She underwent a lumpectomy to remove the 4-centimeter tumor.

A lumpectomy is surgery to remove cancer or abnormal tissue from the breast. It’s also known as breast-conserving surgery because, unlike mastectomy, only the tumor and some surrounding tissues are removed.

WATCH: Should I Have a Lumpectomy or Mastectomy?

Her cancer had spread to the lymph nodes, and her surgeon removed 14 of them. The surgery was followed by chemotherapy, which involves giving the cycles of certain chemo drugs closer together. She then received radiation treatment involving energy beams such as X-rays aimed at cancer cells to kill them.

In 2005, the singing cancer warrior bravely performed at the Grammy Awards while still bald from chemotherapy.

She said the morning of the awards show, she had undergone radiation treatment and felt weak.

“I remember halfway through, thinking in my mind, ‘Oh my God,’” Etheridge said of her memorable yet inspiring performance.

Etheridge says her cancer journey positively impacted her mental health in retrospect. Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik tells SurvivorNet that cancer patients’ emotions can vary before, during, and after a diagnosis.

Dr. Dana Chase, a gynecologic oncologist at Arizona Oncology who also advocates for cancer patients to prioritize their mental health, told SurvivorNet, “We know from good studies that emotional health is associated with survival, meaning better quality of life is associated with better outcomes.”

“So, working on your emotional health, your physical well-being, your social environment [and] your emotional well-being are important and can impact your survival. If that’s related to what activities you do that bring you joy, then you should try to do more of those activities,” Dr. Chase adds.

“When I had breast cancer and was given a handful of pharmaceuticals to take home to help with the pain and the depression and then the side effects of those drugs. I just shook my head and said, ‘No, I’m not going to do that,” Etheridge told MUD/WTR, a coffee alternative company, during an interview.

Etheridge notably used cannabis to help manage some of her symptoms during her cancer journey.

After nearly a year of treatment, Etheridge announced in 2005 that she had reached remission, meaning scans did not find signs of cancer.

“I stand before you a totally healthy person,” Etheridge told Entertainment News program Extra.

RELATED: Living in Gratitude

Coping With a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

If you are facing a breast cancer diagnosis, your emotions are likely to run high, which is completely normal. Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says emotions are often fluid when coping with a diagnosis.

“The patient or person going through the stressful event should accept that emotions will be fluid. You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next. It’s also important for those you look to for support, whether that’s a therapist, friends, family, or both, to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions,” Dr. Plutchik said.

WATCH: A multiple myeloma patient says practicing gratitude helped her journey.

If a stressful event affects how you think and feel, it may be time to seek mental health treatment. This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking a support group, or many other approaches.

Women needing a little extra help coping with a breast cancer diagnosis should consider the following.

• Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
• Keep a journal. It can be highly cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a lovely journal and chronicle your thoughts throughout the day.
• Join a cancer support group. Groups are available in nearly every community and offer opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn constructive insight from others who can tell you what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
• Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.

Milestones After Cancer

For cancer warriors and their families, reaching life’s milestones is a big deal. Milestones can be the birth of a child or grandchild, getting married, traveling on a dream vacation, reaching another birthday, or something else. Most importantly, these milestones during or after a cancer battle tend to have a more significant meaning because, often, cancer patients gain a greater sense of gratitude toward their lives.

WATCH: Healthy living tips for patients.

According to Cancer.net, patients and their support groups filled with loved ones may engage in some activities to help recognize and celebrate memorable milestones. These activities include planning a nice dinner or party-like gathering and spending time donating money or volunteering to a cancer charity. Perhaps the way you memorialize your cancer milestone could be independent of others. Examples include a solitary walk in nature and allowing your senses to take hold while you reflect.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor

If you find yourself struggling with a diagnosis or helping a loved one cope with their emotions, consider asking your doctor the following questions:

• How can I go about improving my outlook/mental health?
• Are there any activities I can do to encourage positive feelings?
• When should I seek other interventions if I’m still struggling?
• What are the steps to finding a different therapist if the one I’m using is not working out?

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.