Coping With a Loved One's Cancer Diagnosis
- Late country singer Toby Keith, who passed away at age 62 earlier this year following a long battle with stomach cancer, is being remembered by his daughter Krystal for giving her and her siblings a “normal childhood.” She used to tell her friends that her dad was a “plumber.”
- Keith’s stomach cancer journey began in 2021. Since being diagnosed, he had undergone treatment, which included chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, and immunotherapy. Last summer, he revealed he was feeling pretty good and nearing the end of cancer treatments.
- However, he passed away on February 5 surrounded by his loved ones.
- By focusing on his music as he battled cancer, Keith maintained his emotional well-being and was filled with positivity. Dr. Dana Chase, a gynecologic oncologist at UCLA Health, says that maintaining good emotional health and quality of life is associated with better survival and patient outcomes. She encourages cancer patients to prioritize their emotional health for this reason.
- “So definitely working on your emotional health, your physical well-being, your social environment, your emotional well-being, definitely working on those things and making them better are important and can impact your survival,” Dr. Chase told SurvivorNet.
Toby passed away at age 62, but his children will always look back on their beloved memories with their dad, known for famous songs like “As Good As I Once Was” and “Beer For My Horses.” Krystal admitted in a recent interview that she used to trick people into thinking her dad was a “plumber” when they questioned whether she was related to the singer.
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She added, then when her friends didn’t believe her dad was a plumber named Mark, she would tell them something else.
“My second favorite thing was to say Garth Brooks, because they were already, like, they knew he was a singer,” Krystal explained. “They were expecting Toby Keith, and I’d be like, “My dad’s Garth Brooks!'”
“I never wanted to give them what they expected,” she continued.
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Despite her dad becoming a country music star when she was just a kid, Krystal insists, “We had an incredibly normal childhood, so it wasn’t like our lives changed drastically.”
She explained further to Fox News Digital, “It was just, the things we were able to afford became a little bit different. My mom wasn’t stressing about, you know, where the light bill was getting paid. I mean, that was something we never knew anything about from the time we lived in a trailer.
“We could have been rich then. I didn’t know the difference. We never wanted for anything … we always had everything we needed.”
However, Krystal noted that her and her two siblings did noticed a “gradual shift” in the way they were living as their dad became more successful.
She continued, “He stayed the same throughout. It was really just the people around us changed and the way they treated us and the way they talked to us about him changed.
“And that’s what kind of, as a child, showed me that, oh, this isn’t normal; he’s not like everyone else’s dad.”
Krystal also praised her dad for giving her advice on anything she needed, never telling her “Don’t do this or don’t do that,” which ultimately allowed her to embark on her own path in the music world.
In fact, she recently performed “Don’t Let The Old Man In” as a tribute to her late dad during the “Toby Keith: American Icon” concert on Wednesday night.
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Now Krystal and her family are working on carrying out their beloved Toby Keith’s legacy of raising awareness for pediatric cancer research through the Toby Keith Foundation.
Krystal’s sweet words and recollection of her childhood, comes about nearly nine months after her dad’s passing, a time when she took to social media to reveal she was “shattered” after losing her “hero.”
She wrote in a tribute post for her dad, “As great as he was in his career, he was so much greater as a dad and a husband and a Pop Pop. He was my hero.
“I am so lucky to have had him and so grateful he got to walk me down the aisle and meet my babies. That I have years of memories traveling the world as a family. I am blessed that I got to spend years traveling on the road and singing on stage with him.
“That I have mountains of video footage and endless tracks of music to watch him on and hear his voice with. I’m lucky I got to say goodbye and tell him what he meant to me.”
Remembering Toby Keith’s Courageous Stomach Cancer Battle
Keith’s stomach cancer journey began in 2021. Since his diagnosis, he had undergone treatment, which included chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, and immunotherapy. Last summer, he revealed he was feeling pretty good and nearing the end of cancer treatments.
After his diagnosis, he stepped away from the big stage to focus on his health. After nearly two years of battling the disease, the he revealed he was “feeling pretty good” in an interview with Country Now.
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“Basically, everything is in a real positive trend. You never know with cancer, so you have to prepare,” the country singer continued.
Dealing With Grief After a Cancer Diagnosis
Treatment options for stomach cancer may include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, targeted therapy, and immunotherapy. Your care team will decide the best treatment option depending on your overall health and the maturity of the cancer.
Keith’s treatment has involved chemotherapy and immunotherapy. Chemotherapy involves cancer-killing drugs given to patients orally or intravenously. Immunotherapy is a cancer treatment method that uses the body’s immune system to fight cancer cells.
We do not know what kind of chemo or immunotherapy he received leading up to his death, but we’re inspired by the determination to fight the disease and live life to the fullest up until his passing.
The “Red Solo Cup” singer’s final performance was at the Park MGM Las Vegas in December.
How Parents Find Strength in Children During Cancer Battle
When Toby Keith’s stomach cancer journey began, he had the support of his family, especially his three children.
Facing cancer as a parent can be incredibly daunting. Fearful thoughts about leaving your children and grandchildren may creep into your mind and add even more to your overflowing plate. However, children no matter their age can serve as big motivators during cancer treatment.
“Cancer patients with children can have increased motivation to endure difficult treatment but may also be concerned about the emotional impact of the illness on their offspring,” Dr. Cindy Moore of Massachusetts General Hospital Cancer Center explained to The ASCO Post, an oncology newspaper.
Dr. Moore said cancer patients with children should discuss their biggest concerns with their healthcare teams so an effective communication plan can be created to explain their diagnosis to their loved ones.
Widower John Duberstein previously explained with SurvivorNet how he and his wife diagnosed with breast cancer discussed her cancer with their children.
“I think it’s really important to be open with the kids as much as you can, as much as you feel like they can handle,” Duberstein explained.
WATCH: How parents explained their cancer to younger children?
“When Nina started to look less like a cancer patient, the kids started to make unspoken assumptions about where Nina stood.”
He explained he and his wife had to counter false narratives, which developed in their children’s heads about their mother’s prognosis. They had to gently remind them her cancer was not going away.
“It was hard for them to hear even though they’d already been prepared,” Duberstein further explained.
Focusing on Joy and Support Instead Of Cancer
By focusing on his music as he battled cancer, Keith maintained his emotional well-being and was filled with positivity. Dr. Dana Chase, a gynecologic oncologist at UCLA Health, says that maintaining good emotional health and quality of life is associated with better survival and patient outcomes. She encourages cancer patients to prioritize their emotional health for this reason.
“So definitely working on your emotional health, your physical well-being, your social environment, your emotional well-being, definitely working on those things and making them better are important and can impact your survival,” Dr. Chase told SurvivorNet.
Dr. Chase suggests tapping into your support network, which includes loved ones like friends and family. It can also be a patient advocate or a support group – in-person or virtual that shares your cancer or disease.
Remember, when a stressful life event occurs, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different, and healthy, ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy, and there should be no shame in that.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people respond to stressors in different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of caring for a loved one, there are many options that may be able to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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