Navigating a Relationship While Facing a Health Challenge
- Former California television journalist and brain tumor advocate Julie Chang discovered a benign brain tumor after a surfing injury led to a CT scan—an event she says “may have saved my life.”
- Facing the emotional weight of her diagnosis, especially on her love life, Chang tried to end her long-distance relationship, believing it was too much to ask—until her partner flew from Japan to be by her side.
- A major health challenge can either deepen intimacy or expose unresolved conflict, depending on the couple’s emotional foundation and communication. Therapists recommend strategies like open dialogue, shared coping tools, and support networks to help couples stay connected through the challenges of a cancer journey.
- According to the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO), brain tumors make up 85–90% of all primary central nervous system (CNS) tumors. They can be benign or malignant, with treatment and symptoms varying based on tumor type and location.
- Brain tumors don’t always cause noticeable symptoms, but they can significantly affect brain function and overall health. Common signs include headaches, memory loss, confusion, balance issues, vision changes, and shifts in mood or personality.
- Even though surgery can remove a large part of the tumor, any remaining cancer cells can continue to grow over time, leading to the tumor’s return. For this reason, surgery is often followed by other treatments, like radiation or chemotherapy, to try to eliminate any remaining cells.
- “The goal is to remove as much of the tumor as we can while keeping the patient well neurologically,” Dr. Reid Thompson, Chair of Neurosurgery at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, tells SurvivorNet. In other words, to remove as much of the tumor as possible without causing harm to the patient.
While it remains unclear how old Chang was when the surfing accident occurred, the mother of two peeled back the layers about how her diagnosis impacts dating life and what it means to be loved.
Read MoreView this post on InstagramOn her “Truly Julie Podcast,” Chang recently reflected on the moment she told her partner about her diagnosis. They had been dating for a year and a half, of it long-distance, and she felt the weight of what she was asking him to carry.
“So I tell him about this diagnosis [brain tumor] and I’m like, listen, you are what, 33? I’m like this is a lot for anyone to sign up for after a year of dating, let alone half of it long distance. Why don’t we resume? If we resume, let’s just see how this all plays out,” she said.
Chang braced for the breakup. She didn’t expect him to stay. “I’ll do me, and like I don’t expect you to carry this burden with me,” she told him.
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But love surprised her by uprooting his life to be closer.
“He immediately comes from Japan to my house in L.A. How I ABSOLUTELY knew Leif was in it for the long haul??? His words when I tried to break up with him post brain tumor diagnosis are heartwarming.”
Chang’s tumor was discovered unexpectedly after a surfing accident sent her to the doctor for scans. At the time, she was a local TV anchor and chose to share her diagnosis publicly, telling viewers that surfing “may have saved my life,” according to The Wrap. She underwent brain surgery that required 300 stitches, and while the physical recovery was intense, the emotional impact lingered—especially when it came to dating.
“I looked a lot like Mr. Potato Head post-surgery,” she joked. “And yet, my man looks at so many pictures of me, saying I look so beautiful and cute.”
“It’s dumb to cry about hair when you’re dealing with a health crisis,” she shared in an Instagram post. “And yet I cried when they buzzed my hair. It all just became so real.”
WATCH: What to Consider Between Biopsy versus Surgery.
Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and computed tomography (CT) scans offer detailed images of the brain, helping doctors detect tumors based on how they look and behave. However, imaging alone often isn’t enough to fully understand the tumor’s nature. In many cases, the next step is surgery—not just to remove as much of the tumor as possible, but also to confirm a diagnosis through lab analysis of the tissue. Biopsies can be performed during surgery or separately, depending on the situation.
Dr. D. Ryan Ormond, a neurosurgeon at the University of Colorado in Denver, told SurvivorNet that determining whether surgery is a viable option comes first.
“It’s usually pretty straightforward—can we get enough of the tumor out to make a difference in their life with surgery?” Dr. Ormond explained.
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Now a mother of two and a passionate advocate for brain tumor survivors, Chang is using her platform to spotlight a rarely discussed aspect of chronic illness: the impact on dating and relationships. Her story is a reminder that healing isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, relational, and deeply personal.
Twelve years after the accident that changed everything, Chang continues to speak out, not just about brain health, but about the courage it takes to be seen and loved.
Stories On Love, Relationships and a Diagnosis
Navigating Relationships Through a Diagnosis
A cancer diagnosis doesn’t just affect your body—it reshapes your relationships, often in ways no one expects. For breast cancer survivor and advocate Melissa Berry, the emotional toll of treatment tested her sense of self and her closest bonds.
“In some ways [cancer] can bring people together, it can make you much stronger, or it can weaken a relationship,” Berry shared.
WATCH: When Someone You Love is Facing Cancer — Be Patient
“I experienced incredible mood swings, and I, at times, felt like I didn’t even recognize myself. I think it’s important for the people that are close to the patient to understand that you’re going to be going through some really rough stuff … not just physically, but emotionally.”
Berry’s experience echoes a broader reality: illness can be a crucible for couples. A study from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center found that women are six times more likely to be separated or divorced after a cancer diagnosis—especially when the male partner is the one facing illness. Researchers suggest this may stem from differences in caregiving commitment and emotional resilience between genders.
Family psychologist Dr. Susan McDaniel told “The Today Show” that cancer can either deepen intimacy or expose unresolved fractures. “For healthy couples, the petty stuff drifts away. There’s a certain kind of intimacy in facing something really serious,” she said. “But for couples with significant difficulties, the illness can hit those fault lines hard.”
Tools for Staying Connected Through Cancer
Mind-body therapist Michael Uhl, speaking with City of Hope, offered practical strategies to help couples stay strong during a cancer journey:
- Keep communication open and honest
- Lean on coping strategies to manage stress together
- Respect each other’s need for alone time
- Preserve intimacy—emotional closeness matters as much as physical closeness
- Do activities you both enjoy
- Expand your support network to share caregiving tasks
- Join support groups with shared experiences
- Hold each other accountable for healthy habits
- Avoid blame—focus on teamwork
- Consider therapy to navigate this new chapter together
Better Understanding Brain Tumors
Brain tumors can impact a person’s cognitive function and overall well-being, depending largely on the tumor’s size, type, and specific location within the brain. When large enough, tumors may interfere with the central nervous system, pressing on nearby nerves, blood vessels, or tissues. This disruption may result in difficulties with coordination, balance, or mobility.
According to the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO), brain tumors make up 85–90% of all primary central nervous system (CNS) tumors. They can be benign or malignant, with treatment and symptoms varying based on tumor type and location.
“The goal is to remove as much of the tumor as we can while keeping the patient well neurologically,” Dr. Reid Thompson, Chair of Neurosurgery at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, tells SurvivorNet. In other words, to remove as much of the tumor as possible without causing harm to the patient.
Even though surgery can remove a large part of the tumor, any remaining cancer cells can continue to grow over time, leading to the tumor’s return. For this reason, surgery is often followed by other treatments, like radiation or chemotherapy, to try to eliminate any remaining cells.
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While some brain tumors cause noticeable symptoms, others can go unnoticed for long periods. When symptoms do occur, they might include:
- Persistent headaches
- Difficulty speaking or processing thoughts
- Muscle weakness
- Behavioral or personality changes
- Vision disturbances
- Seizures
- Hearing loss
- Confusion
- Memory issues
Treatment Options for Brain Tumors
Treatment strategies for brain cancer depend on several variables, including the tumor’s size, type, grade, and location. Doctors may recommend:
- Surgery
- Radiation therapy
- Chemotherapy
Your medical team will help guide you based on your individual diagnosis. The prognosis—or outlook—depends on:
- Tumor type and growth rate
- Tumor location in the brain
- Presence of genetic mutations or abnormalities
- Whether the entire tumor can be removed
- The patient’s overall health
Types of Brain Tumors: Cancerous and Non-Cancerous
According to the National Cancer Institute, brain tumors can vary greatly in behavior. Some common non-cancerous (benign) types include:
- Chordomas: Slow-growing, often found near the spine’s base or where it meets the skull
- Craniopharyngiomas: Develop near the pituitary gland; rare and slow-growing
- Gangliocytomas: Form in the temporal lobe and affect the central nervous system
- Glomus jugulare: Rare and slow-growing
- Meningiomas: Typically grow on the brain’s outer protective layer (dura mater)
- Pineocytomas: Arise from the pineal gland near the brain’s center
- Pituitary adenomas: Located in the pituitary gland; generally slow-growing
- Schwannomas: Originate in Schwann cells, which insulate nerve fibers
- Acoustic neuromas (vestibular schwannomas): Impact on hearing and balance nerves
Common malignant (cancerous) brain tumors include:
- Gliomas: The most frequent and aggressive form of primary brain cancer
- Astrocytomas: Derived from star-shaped brain cells, with four growth grades
- Ependymomas: Graded based on aggressiveness
- Oligodendrogliomas: Can grow slowly (Grade 2) or aggressively (Grade 3)
- Medulloblastomas: Fast-growing and often found in children
- Glioblastomas: The most common and aggressive brain tumor in adults
Understanding the Impact of a Glioblastoma Brain Tumor
Glioblastoma is a highly aggressive central nervous system tumor. As the National Cancer Institute explains, glioblastomas “grow and spread very quickly.”
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- Average survival rate: 15 months with treatment, fewer than six months without
- Five-year survival rate: ~6%; those who survive long-term continue treatment indefinitely
- Treatment challenges: Due to their cellular diversity (heterogeneity), glioblastomas are difficult to fully remove via surgery. The remaining cells rapidly grow back after surgery.
Dr. Friedman and other researchers are exploring innovative strategies like poliovirus therapy and immunotherapy to raise survival rates above 20%.
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Risk factors for glioblastoma include:
- Prior radiation exposure
- Male gender
- Age 50+
- Genetic conditions such as neurofibromatosis, tuberous sclerosis, and von Hippel-Lindau disease
Common symptoms include:
- Headaches
- Seizures
- Mood or personality changes
- Speech difficulties
- Hearing, smell, or vision changes
- Loss of coordination or balance
- Irregular breathing or pulse
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you or a loved one is diagnosed with a brain tumor, consider asking:
- What type of brain tumor do I have, and what grade or stage is it?
- What treatment options are available for my specific diagnosis?
- What are the risks and benefits of those treatments?
- What side effects might I expect, and how can they be managed?
- What is my prognosis?
- Will additional tests or imaging be needed to track progress?
- Am I eligible for any clinical trials?
- How might treatment affect my daily life and activities?
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