Prioritizing Your Mental Health, Finding Purpose
- TV personality Kendra Wilkinson, who first rose to fame as a girlfriend of late publisher Hugh Hefner and being on the E! reality TV series “The Girls Next Door” between 2005 and 2009, has opened up about mental health, which left her feeling like she had “hit rock bottom” and ultimately led her to seek help.
- The term mental health refers to both our emotional and psychological well-being. Our mental health can affect how we think, feel, and behave. Certain triggers like stress, traumatic events, or change in your physical health can affect mental health.
- It’s really important to keep tabs on your mental health and, if necessary, seek treatment. This doesn’t necessarily mean traditional therapy because while it may be really helpful (even life-changing) for some, that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
- Dr. Scott Irwin, a psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, tells SurvivorNet, “We all get depressed from time to time, have a sad day, feeling down and blue – that’s part of normal human emotion, part of normal life. “Some of us, when we’re dealing with difficult things such as a diagnosis of cancer, may be sad or down or blue more often. And sometimes it gets to the point where that depression can be a little bit overwhelming, and we help them through therapy, through non-medication interventions.”
- There are many ways to address mental health issues. Options may include meditation, practicing mindfulness, talking with a therapist, joining a support group, and medication, such as antidepressants.
Wilkinson, who first rose to fame as a girlfriend of late publisher Hugh Hefner and being on the E! reality TV series “The Girls Next Door” between 2005 and 2009, spoke exclusively with People about her struggle with mental health, which left her feeling like she had “hit rock bottom.”
Read MoreView this post on Instagram
The “Kendra Sells Hollywood” told People, in an interview published on Tuesday, that she felt as if she was “in a state of panic” before being hospitalized twice last year following a panic attack in September.
“I didn’t know what was going on in my head and my body or why I was crying. I had hit rock bottom. I was dying of depression. I was hitting the end of my life, and I went into psychosis. I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to live anymore,” she explained.
Wilkinson, who was just 18 years old when she moved into the Playboy Mansion, admitted she’s had to confront her “demons,” adding, “Playboy really messed my whole life up.”
People noted how Wilkinson was hospitalized twice in September, prescribed an antipsychotic medication Abilify, and went to outpatient therapy to deal with her trauma from her playboy bunny years and her divorce from former football wide receiver Henry Randall Baskett.
She continued, “It was the lowest place I’ve ever been in my life. I felt like I had no future. I couldn’t see in front of my depression. I was giving up and I couldn’t find the light. I had no hope.”
More On Managing Your Mental Health
- Changing the Culture: Medical Professionals Shouldn’t be Ashamed to Seek Mental Health Treatment
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
- Responding to Stress: How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions
- SN & You Presents Mental Health: Coping With Emotions
- How to Fix Relationships When Depression Hits – A Survivor’s Guide
The mom of two, 14-year-old Hank IV and nine-year-old Alijah Mary, also pointed out how difficult it was for her to get help.
“To accept medication was the hardest thing to do. It meant I had to accept that I have some mental illness, and I didn’t want to have to do that,” she told People.
Now, grateful for how far she’s come in her mental health journey, Wilkinson hopes to inspire others to take control of their lives and seek help when needed.
“Depression is something that doesn’t just go away. It’s something that stays with you through life. You just have to learn to work with it and accept it. And it’s a part of me,” Wilsinson said.
“What therapy did was that it built this tool system for me. So now I have the strength — I have the strength and the foundation I need to overcome my depression.”
View this post on Instagram
Wilkinson is remains grateful for having her ex husband Hank bring her to the hospital when her emotions were uncontrollable.
“To accept help that day and for Hank to drive me to the hospital was a huge day in both of our lives. It was a big day for my family and kids,” she said.
“I didn’t realize how bad I was suffering or what people were seeing of me until I got there. I had to really look in the mirror and be like, ‘I need help,'”
During a photo shoot for People, Wilkinson was photographed on a beach, looking her best, and feeling better than ever.
Recounting her feelings to People, Wilkinson said, “Today was the first time in a long time that I felt like me again. Today I am aligned. The ocean feels so good jumping in. It’s a wakeup, like a refresh button. We’re capturing the new me.
“I’m living now. I was finally okay with my boobs today! A year ago, I was body-shaming. Now, I feel beautiful. I’m not wild as in taking my clothes off, partying, drinking tequila wild, but I really faced myself and my demons. I feel like I’m the best mom I can be. I’m giving my kids all I got. I’m giving myself all I got.”
View this post on Instagram
She concluded, “I’m so proud of myself for battling this and finding the solution and getting the treatment I needed. And it’s one step at a time. I survived.”
Mental Health: The Basics
The term mental health refers to both our emotional and psychological well-being. Our mental health can affect how we think, feel, and behave. Certain triggers like stress, traumatic events, or change in your physical health can affect mental health. It’s really important to keep tabs on your mental health and, if necessary, seek treatment. This doesn’t necessarily mean traditional therapy because while it may be really helpful (even life-changing) for some, that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
Problems with mood and overall mental well-being can be attributed to several factors. For some people it’s genetic, while others may be experiencing a response to some sort of stressor or past trauma.
How to Fix Relationships When Depression Hits – A Survivors Guide
In order to keep your mental health in check, it’s important to be aware of signs which can be subtle that there is something affecting your mind. These signs include:
- A change in eating or sleeping habits
- Losing interest in people or usual activities
- Experiencing little or no energy
- Numb and/or hopeless feelings
- Turning to drinking or drugs more than usual
- Non-typical angry, upset, or on-edge feelings
- Yelling/fighting with loved ones
- Experiencing mood swings
- Intrusive thoughts
- Trouble getting through daily tasks
These symptoms can be wide-ranging and vary a great deal from person to person. Everyone experiences grief differently, for example. However, if you are feeling unusually sad, on-edge, or like you’re no longer interested in activities you used to love, know that there are many treatment options available and many different healthy ways to help you cope.
Coping With Depression
Dr. Scott Irwin, a psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, says it’s crucial for patients to talk to their care team about their mental health.
“We all get depressed from time to time, have a sad day, feeling down and blue – that’s part of normal human emotion, part of normal life,” Dr. Irwin explained.
“Some of us, when we’re dealing with difficult things such as a diagnosis of cancer, may be sad or down or blue more often. And sometimes it gets to the point where that depression can be a little bit overwhelming, and we help them through therapy, through non-medication interventions.”
There are many ways to address mental health issues as a cancer survivor. Options may include:
- Meditation
- Practicing mindfulness
- Talking with a therapist
- Joining a support group
- Medication, such as antidepressants
Medication
When doctors and patients together decide that medication is necessary, it’s important that doctors choose wisely.
“I often try to choose medications with the lowest side effect profile,” Dr. Irwin said. “If patients are getting hormonal therapy, there’s particular antidepressants that we can’t use because they may lower the effectiveness of that hormonal therapy and so we choose antidepressants that don’t impact the cancer care.”
This shows how important it is to have communication between everyone you’re seeing, so they can be on the same page about your treatment and options.
Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
Another way doctors can tailor mental health medications for their patients is through genetic testing.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says genetic testing through companies like Genomind can help doctors understand how likely it is a patient may respond to different types of psychiatric medications.
“Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology,” Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “It’s something that I highly recommend for anybody who is taking medication, whether they are being treated for cancer, or not.”
Marianne Duquette Cuozzo Shares How Art Helped Her Through Dark Times
Dr. Plutchik also explained that genetic testing can be specifically helpful for cancer patients because it may help avoid trial and error when it comes to choosing a mental health medication that does not interfere with their cancer treatment.
“So, a person who is dealing with this and may have to go on chemotherapy has already enough on their plate that they don’t really want to start dealing with trial and error with medications,” she said. “So, it gives me information about which medications are likely to work without having problematic side effects, and it also gives information about interactions between any of the psych medications that we choose and the chemotherapy agents that they may be taking.”
Support Groups
Whether you’re coping with an illness, an emotional problem, or life transition, a support group can be a place where people in the same boat, or a similar situation, can come together.
But maybe you’re a little unsure or skeptical about joining a group. What will it be like? Are you expected to share your story?
Dr. Amy McNally, gynecologic oncologist with Minnesota Oncology, tries to reassure her patients that chances are, they’ll derive some benefit.
“I think in a support group you’re going to find women who are in similar situations but yet can share their unique stories,” she says.
“Just being there is worth it. You don’t have to share a thing. You can just sit and listen, or you can be part of the conversation and offer your thoughts. And it can be different every time you go, it’s your choice as to how or whether to participate and what you decide to get out of the group.”
McNally thinks it can be helpful and comforting to be around people who know what you’ve been through, or are going through, and that in and of itself is reason enough to try it out.
Therapy
“People that are struggling with coping with the experience, coping with body image should reach out to their doctors, find a therapist in the community,” says Dr. Irwin.
A patient navigator or social worker can also help connect you with a mental health professional that you can talk to to help process your emotions.
“It’s about meeting the individual patient where they are and their feelings, how they’ve always dealt with their body image, what the body image changes mean now in their lives and their relationships, and how they can move forward given the new reality,” Dr. Irwin said.
Mindfulness
Jon Kabat Zinn, founder of the eight-week stress-reduction program, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), a course that has entered the mainstream of health care, scientific study, and public policy, describes mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
Mindfulness is often suggested for cancer patients to reduce high levels of anxiety and distress associated with diagnosis, treatment, and anticipation of possible disease recurrence.
Both the American Society of Clinical Oncology and the Society of Integrative Oncology recommend meditation as part of a multidisciplinary approach to reduce stress, depression, and mood disturbance, and to improve the quality of life in cancer patients. But the question remains: does it really work? We think it does.
5 tips for practicing mindfulness:
- Choose one daily activity to practice mindfully (e.g. eating your lunch, brushing your teeth or taking a shower). During this activity notice your breath and activity of your mind for a few moments.
- Take a pause throughout your day. During your day, find a moment to stop and take 5 deep breaths with your eyes closed.
- Kindly acknowledge a moment you’re experiencing a difficulty, by putting your hand on your heart and saying, “Feel my pain. How can I be kind to myself in this moment?”
- Get curious about your emotions. Experiment with welcoming your emotions as they come, instead of pushing them away.
- Become aware when you’re in a rush. Ask yourself, “Do I really need to hurry?”
Meditation
Regularly meditating allows people to start to become more aware of the emotions in the physical body and the thoughts running through the mind, to acknowledge their thoughts as they arise, and then gently let them go.
Shannon Masur, a colon cancer and Lynch Syndrome survivor, describes this as “when a thought comes in, to feel it, feel the fear, but let it go after a few seconds.”
All of this is said to result in an overall reduction in stress and anxiety in the body. It may also help patients to control problems such as pain, difficulty sleeping, tiredness, feeling sick and high blood pressure.
For help getting started with meditation, here’s a guided session to try.
WATCH: A Guided Meditation for the SurvivorNet Community
Overall, don’t forget to prioritize your mental health if you’re facing cancer. You might feel like your mind is the least of your worries while fighting the disease, but it’s important to know just how big of an impact your mental well-being can have on your health as a whole.
“Actually, there’s data that if you have extra stress or depression that you may not recover or you have a higher risk or recurrence,” Dr. Irwin said. “So… in treating the depression, we’re actually impacting the cancer care outcomes.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
