Coping With The Loss of a Loved One
- Emmitt Smith III, who played for the Dallas Cowboys from 1990 to 2002, is remembering his father, Emmitt James Smith II, who passed away three years ago.
- On Valentine’s Day, Smith shared a tribute on X honoring the dad who inspired his football journey and whose guidance continues to shape his life, inspiring him to become an advocate for prostate cancer.
- Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, and it’s something Smith has shown to the public. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
- While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief. Faith can also be a powerful coping mechanism for some.
- Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.
- Check out SurvivorNet’s “Men Beating The Odds”—an inspiring series that shares the powerful stories of men overcoming prostate cancer and redefining what it means to survive—here.
“On this day, my dad went to his heavenly home. Happy Valentine’s Day Pop,” the legendary Hall of Fame running back wrote in a heartfelt post on X, alongside a photo of his late dad.
Read MoreOn this day, my dad went to his heavenly home. Happy Valentine’s Day Pop ?️ pic.twitter.com/P9AszNa3sf
— Emmitt Smith (@EmmittSmith22) February 14, 2026
When his dad passed away on February 14, 2023, Smith also took to X, sharing a photo of his parents, writing, “The man who inspired me to play the game of football has transitioned to be the lord.
“I will miss your timely advice but will hold on to the things you and my first love taught me, my brothers and sisters. [Love] U Pop.”
Smith, who recently hosted SurvivorNet’s powerful new film series “Men Beating the Odds,” told SurvivorNet, “When my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer I knew I had to step up and do what I could to help him and other men at risk.
“Now I’m proud to join forces with SurvivorNet to highlight men who have taken on prostate cancer and come out stronger,” he added.
Expert Prostate Cancer Resources
- ‘A Relationship Disease’ — SurvivorNetTV Presents: The Power of Emotional Support For Men Handling Prostate Cancer
- ‘Early Detection Can Be the Key’: National Guard Vet & Prostate Cancer Survivor Urges Others to Get Screened
- ‘Men Beating The Odds’: A Groundbreaking Film Series That Celebrates Resilience After Prostate Cancer
- A Guide For Newly Diagnosed Prostate Cancer Patients
- A Message Of Hope For Men Fighting Advanced Prostate Cancer
- After a Prostate Cancer Diagnosis, Here’s How to Talk To Your Urologist
- Prostate Cancer Screening: Simple, Smart, Life-Saving
In a previous interview, Smith spoke highly of his father during his 2010 Hall of Fame induction speech, also attributing his success as a dad and football player to him.
He said, according to the Penascola News Journal, “The day before Super Bowl XLIV, there we were, my father and I, sitting together when he turned to me and said, ‘Son, I am so proud of you. I had dreams of doing what you’re doing, but my mom got sick and I never did get a chance to go to college.’ He said, ‘You’re living my dreams, you’re living my dream.’
“And all I could think about was, I’m living your dream, I’m fulfilling my dream and I’m fulfilling God’s purpose for my life.”
Smith continued, “Now when I go into the hall today, I’m not going in alone. You see, I’m carrying my grandfather, I’m carrying my father and I’m carrying my son along with me, because I bear all of their names.”
The man who inspired me to play the game of football has transitioned to be the lord. I will miss your timely advice but will hold on to the things you and my first love ? taught me, my brothers and sisters. ❤️U Pop pic.twitter.com/Cn93nBjkTM
— Emmitt Smith (@EmmittSmith22) February 15, 2023
Meanwhile, in response to Smith’s recent post remembering his dad, he has received an immense amount of support from his fans and loved ones.
One person commented, “I’m sorry for your hurt, Emmitt. He is most certainly a BIG reason you turned out so well, and I believe you will see him again.
“I was born & raised in Pensacola (still here), and I appreciate all you’ve done to represent us so well. Thank you.”
Another said, “Looks like a good hearted special person, god bless him, god bless his soul and family.”
“You have a legacy of great men in your family. Clearly he was a good man. As are you and your son,” commented a third.
A fourth supporter of Smith’s commented, “Love does not end when someone leaves. It just changes form. Today is not only about romance. It is about the people who shaped us, protected us, and loved us first.
“He may be in his heavenly home, but the parts of him that live in you never left.”
Awareness In The Black Community
According to the American Cancer Society, men at average risk should start prostate cancer screening at age 50. Those at higher risk — including Black men and individuals with a close family history of the disease — are encouraged to begin screening earlier.
Black men, in particular, are now advised to start at age 40, which is 10 to 15 years sooner than average-risk individuals. For men with a close relative diagnosed with prostate cancer, beginning annual screenings in their 30s may be worth considering.
“Prostate cancer affects men of all walks of life but it affects them differently,” Dr. Edwin Posadas, Medical Director of the Urologic Oncology Program at Cedars-Sinai, told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
“For example, the incidence of prostate cancer in African-American men is 60% higher, and they are two to three times more likely to die from the disease.”
Overwhelmingly Higher Prostate Cancer Rates For Black & Latino Men
As per the National Cancer Institute, death rates among Black men are higher or “more than twice” that of white men, ultimately leading to heightened efforts to boost early detection for this demographic.
When you do get screened for prostate cancer, your doctor will run a few tests.
One of the tests is the PSA test, a simple blood test that screens for prostate cancer. It looks for more significant amounts of protein-specific antigen (PSA) in the blood. An elevated PSA test does not always mean you have prostate cancer. It could also reflect that your prostate is enlarged, which is common, or it could signal an infection or inflammation.
Your doctor may also conduct a digital rectal exam (DRE) to check your prostate for lumps.
Depending on the results of these tests, imaging scans and a biopsy may be ordered.
WATCH: How Gleason Grade Determines Treatment
Prostate cancer does not always behave the same in every man it impacts. The cancer can be considered “low-risk” and can be slow-growing, and treatment might not be necessary. In other men, the cancer may grow faster or more aggressively, requiring more immediate treatment. Because of this, there is some debate about screening.
The United States Preventive Services Task Force recommends that men at average risk between the ages of 55 and 69 years talk with their doctor about the pros and cons of prostate cancer screening.
The American Cancer Society recommends that men at age 50 who are at average risk should begin screening. Men who are at high risk of prostate cancer should begin screening at age 40. Men with a close relative diagnosed with prostate cancer should consider annual screenings in their 30s.
SurvivorNet experts suggested that men consider factors like their family history, genes, and age when deciding whether and when to screen.
Symptoms of prostate cancer may include:
- Urinating more often
- Waking up in the middle of the night to pee
- Blood in your urine
- Trouble getting an erection
- Pain or burning when you urinate
- Pain in your back, hips, thighs, or other bones
- Unexplained weight loss
- Fatigue
If You’re Diagnosed With Prostate Cancer, What to Expect for Treatment?
After testing and establishing your risk, your doctor will discuss possible treatment options. These may range from active surveillance to more aggressive options, including surgery and radiation therapy.
WATCH: Coping emotionally after a prostate cancer diagnosis
Surgery is an option for men with any risk group of prostate cancer that hasn’t spread outside of the prostate gland. The type of surgery most often used is called a radical prostatectomy.
During the procedure, the surgeon removes the entire prostate, along with some tissue around it, including the seminal vesicles that release fluid into the semen. Your doctor can perform this through a traditional open procedure with one large or several small incisions, called laparoscopic surgery.
WATCH: Sexual Function Recovery After Prostate Cancer Surgery
Surgery side effects may include erectile dysfunction and urinary incontinence. Fortunately, the side effects are usually temporary, and there are ways to help you manage them.
“Erectile function is so sensitive when we’re dealing with prostate cancer because the nerves that are critical for this function wrap around the prostate; they’re just so intimately connected to the prostate that they can be damaged from a surgical removal of the prostate or through radiation treatment,” Dr. Isla Garraway, a staff urologist in the Veterans Administration (VA) Greater Los Angeles Healthcare System, told SurvivorNet.
Doctors often recommend sexual counseling after prostate cancer treatment to help improve sexual function. This approach actively addresses the psychological, emotional, and relationship impacts on sexual health.
Radiation therapy is often done when prostate cancer is caught early and confined to the prostate gland.
SurvivorNet’s Prostate Cancer Resources
SurvivorNet offers a multitude of resources for men seeking more information about prostate cancer screening, early detection, and biopsy, including this Patient Guide to Prostate Cancer Testing.
For men who are diagnosed with prostate cancer, whether it be early stage or advanced, the good news is that there are many treatment options available: from surgery and radiation, to newer targeted treatments for patients with advanced prostate cancer called radioligand therapy.
SurvivorNet also encourages men and their families to take advantage of its proprietary AI generated, doctor-backed “My Health Questions” feature, where users can get real-time answers to virtually any question they have about testing, symptoms, diagnosis and treatment, and for those diagnosed, information about current and upcoming clinical trials available, SurvivorNet also offers a helpful, interactive Clinical Trial Finder.
Importance Of Screening For Prostate Cancer
Life After Loss
It’s normal to feel sad about changes in your life that might be brought on by death or a cancer diagnosis.
“Grief comes in waves,” says Dr. Scott Irwin, a psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
“They’re grieving the change in their life, the future they had imagined is now different.”
Some days can be tougher than others, but Dr. Irwin says talk therapy is helpful so it’s important to reach out to your doctor, to a therapist or to support groups in your community.
SurvivorNet also spoke with Megan Newcomer, who lost a close friend to metastatic cancer in 2018. She shared her unique way of coping with grief. Her friend was an athlete and soccer player, so to help her cope, she embarked on a marathon race in his honor.
Newcomer advises others grieving to first “acknowledge your feelings.”
“Then, think about a way that you could honor the person through a mechanism that is meaningful to you. So that can be artwork, music, or developing a financial fundraising project. It could be something very simple, but I do think having it be intentional is what you’re doing to help honor this person,” Newcomer adds.
In a column for SurvivorNet, New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote that it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”
“If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength,” she wrote.
Finding a Therapist That’s Right For You
Questions for Your Doctor
If you have experienced symptoms associated with prostate cancer or have a screening coming up, here are some questions you may ask your doctor:
- If I had elevated PSA levels, what could be causing that besides cancer?
- How long will it take to learn if my PSA levels warrant further testing?
- What are the treatment options that are best suited for me based on my risk level?
- What financial resources exist to help me with the costs associated with treatment?
- How long will my potential treatment prevent me from working or continuing normal activities?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
