Published Oct 6, 2026

‘We’re Robbed of So Many Things’: How Courtney Duesing, a Mom of Two, Rebuilt Her Confidence and Intimacy After Breast Cancer

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A Breast Cancer Survivor’s Honest Guide to Navigating Intimacy After Treatment

Diagnosed at 35, Courtney Duesing says the physical and emotional changes from a double mastectomy can leave women feeling “robbed of so many things,” making confidence and intimacy difficult to rebuild.
She stresses that intimacy after cancer is both physical and emotional, urging couples to communicate openly about fears, treatment side effects, and how to navigate changes together.
Duesing highlights that restoring connection takes effort — often with help from therapy — and says honest conversations are essential for partners working to maintain or rebuild intimacy after breast cancer.

Breast cancer survivor Courtney Duesing, mother of two and Reconstructive Patient Care Coordinator at an all-women microsurgical breast reconstruction practice, is a native of Austin, Texas. She was diagnosed at 35 with Stage 2A infiltrating ductal carcinoma and underwent chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and reconstructive surgery.

Courtney Duesing pictured with her two daughters and husband (Courtesy: Courtney Duesing)

Duesing said, “There is a big emotional change in undergoing a double mastectomy, even a lumpectomy, because you have asymmetries and things like that. You have to learn how to restore your confidence because so many things … I think a lot of us feel like we are robbed of so many things.”

“A double mastectomy typically takes about two hours for the cancer part of the operation,” explains Dr. Elisa Port, Chief of Breast Surgery at Mount Sinai. “The total length depends on the type of reconstruction.”

WATCH: What Goes Into a Double Mastectomy

Today, most women choose to undergo some form of reconstruction after a mastectomy, which can significantly extend the duration of surgery—especially when tissue is transferred from another part of the body.

“When you take tissue from another part of the body and transfer it to fill in the empty space where the breasts are, this is a very long operation,” Dr. Port says.

“It can take anywhere from six to 12 hours because it’s really like having a tummy tuck and then transferring the tissue and grafting the tissue, connecting the vessels, so those tissues have blood flow to live in,” Dr. Port adds.

Duesing says the physical changes to her body brought on by cancer—such as hair loss and changes to the breasts—can greatly influence a person’s comfort with intimacy. Duesing then added that, despite the improvements in reconstruction, the experience is never quite the same, and treatment side effects like those from endocrine therapy can add further difficulty.

Courtney Deusing in an earlier photo with her two daughters (Courtesy: Courtney Duesing)

For these reasons, she stressed how vital it is for partners to communicate openly about what they’re going through.

“We all know that intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. And so I think it’s very important to share with your partner what you’re feeling, and also be open to hearing your partner and how it’s affecting them and what you can do together to maintain or restore intimacy,” she explained.

WATCH: Discussing Sex and Sexuality After Cancer

“Because intimacy can go away, but what can you do together as a couple? And there’s a lot of mutual understanding that’s required in that,” Duesing said.

Duesing highlighted how therapy can offer a more comfortable setting for difficult conversations that might be hard to have at home. She also stressed that rebuilding intimacy and emotional well-being takes a strong effort—it doesn’t just resolve on its own.

Helping Patients Get Answers

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WATCH: How One Cancer Survivor and Her Sister Used “My Health Questions” to Navigate Care

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As SurvivorNet expands its patient-focused resources, My Health Questions represents a major step forward in how technology can support people navigating cancer.

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.