Actress Mindy Kaling Shares Best Advice Her Mom Gave Before She Passed From Pancreatic Cancer: “You Have to Be Your Own Best Friend”

Kaling told the hosts of The View, “PanCan is incredibly meaningful to me. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2011. And she went to the doctor with a backache and was told that she had stage four pancreatic cancer. And we had no family history of it, and she was gone 8 months later. I’m partnering with PanCan because this is a devastating illness.”

Related: Actress Mindy Kaling Lost Mom to Pancreatic Cancer & Wants to Help Others Impacted By the Disease: 'One of the Toughest Moments of My Life'

She talked passionately about how hard it is to catch this disease early, saying, “There’s only a 5% survival rate for this, and unlike breast cancer or colon cancer where you can get a mammogram or a colonoscopy to detect it early, there’s no diagnostic test to catch it early, so research is so important.” Kaling went on to encourage others to support the PanCan. “Even a little bit matters because it’s giving awareness to it,” she said.

Detecting Pancreatic Cancer Early Is Crucial

Mom’s Diagnosis & Her Advice to Mindy

As Mindy shared, her mom, Dr. Swati Chokalingam, was diagnosed with the disease in 2011 and passed from it in 2012. Pancreatic cancer can be an aggressive, and quickly progressing disease. Dr. Anirban Maitra, Co-Leader of the Pancreatic Cancer Moon Shot at MD Anderson Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview, “Because the pancreas is inside the abdomen, it often doesn’t have symptoms that would tell you that something is wrong with your pancreas. By the time individuals walk into the clinic with symptoms like jaundice, weight loss, back pain, or diabetes, it’s often very late in the stage of the disease. Each year in the United States, about 53,000 patients get pancreatic cancer. And unfortunately, most will die from this disease within a few months to a year or so from the diagnosis.”

Related: 6 Well-Known People Who've Battled Pancreatic Cancer, Including Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Aretha Franklin, and Patrick Swayze

While on The View, Mindy also shared some intimate advice her mom gave her, which has served her well over the years. “My mom gave me a ton of advice but the advice I remember almost daily is that you have to be your own best friend. You know, I didn’t really understand that. And when I went through my destructive periods in my 20s and even in my early 30s, whether it was falling in love with the wrong person, or not taking care of myself physically, that advice has always shocked myself back into better behavior. And that’s advice that I would give my daughter as well.”

Coping with Loss of a Parent

Loss of a parent to cancer often leads to feelings of deep grief. During this time, it’s important to be gentle with yourself, and know that there’s no right way to grieve, and there’s no “normal” timeline. Everyone experiences the process differently, and the loss of a parent can be particularly devastating and traumatic.

Related: The Benefit of Support Networks

After a cancer loss, many find comfort in outlets like therapy, support groups, or, simply, leaning on friends and family during this difficult time. Opening up to others, and showing vulnerability, can make the grief journey feel less lonely.

"Therapy Saved My Life": After Losing A Loved One, Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help

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