Tattoos as a Way to Cope With Loss
- Actress Hilarie Burton inked her arm with a meaningful tattoo in honor of her late friend actor Willie Garson, who died Tuesday at 57 after a hard-fought battle with pancreatic cancer.
- She had the words "calm down" tattooed on her left forearm, and shared with her followers the meaning behind the message.
- Coping with losing a loved one to cancer looks different for everyone; sometimes, people get tattoos to cope.
Those are the words actress Hilarie Burton had tattooed on her left forearm in honor of her late friend, actor Willie Garson, best known for his performance as Stanford Blatch in Sex in the City. He died Tuesday at the age of 57 after a hard-fought battle with pancreatic cancer.
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The news of Garson’s passing was announced by his son, Nathen Garson, on Instagram; he shared a heart-wrenching message about his father that touched thousands who loved Willie both on and off the screen.
"I love you so much papa. Rest In Peace and I'm so glad you got to share all your adventures with me and were able to accomplish so much," he wrote. "I'm so proud of you."
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The Meaning Behind Burton's Tattoo
As stated in her Instagram post, the world knew that Burton and Carson shared a special bond; she was among a growing number of celebrities to mourn his death, such as friend and Sex in the City co-star Sarah Jessica Parker.
Burton shared a heartfelt tribute to Garson on social media; the post included photos of Willie, her and Willie, as well as photos of her new ink dedicated to her late friend. She had the words "calm down" tattooed on her left forearm, and shared with her followers the meaning behind the message.
"He (Willie) would pay you the biggest compliment in the world," she wrote. "Tell you that you were the smartest or prettiest or most talented or that your book/show/recipe/charity, etc. mattered and was valuable. And right as you'd blush, he'd temper it with 'alright, calm down!' And then laughter. He'd stop you before you could rebuff the compliment."
"Calm down. I can hear him saying it."
She also revealed that she got the tattoo before going to see him because she needed him to know "how I felt."
"Before I went to see him, I needed him to know how I felt," she wrote. "And @hudsonvalleytattooco was so kind and understanding and got me in the night before my flight. I wanted Willie to know that I was carrying that 'calm down' with me forever."
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Tattoos as a Way to Cope With Loss
Coping with losing a loved one to cancer looks different for everyone; sometimes, people get tattoos to cope.
Some people get tattoos because they like the artwork, and others get them as a way to remember something, someone or a time in their life; in Burton's case it was to remember her friend and cope with his death.
Many cancer survivors get inked to serve not only as a source of awareness, but also a constant reminder of what they have been through and the fight they endured and/or are still enduring. In the cancer community, specifically breast cancer, it’s becoming increasingly more common for women who have had a mastectomy or double mastectomy a surgery to remove the breasts to get nipples tattooed on their new breast implants.
But getting a tattoo can also be a great way to remember someone; it means that person will always be with you. In Burton's case, the phrase "calm down" will always hold meaning for her, as it allows her to remain connected to Willie.
The point is that moving on is different for everyone; dealing with the grief of losing a loved one and recovering from that experience is a highly personal process, and everyone goes through it differently. (As someone with a lot of tattoos myself, Burton's coping process resonates with me the most.)
Related: Wall Street Trader Turned Tattoo Artist Helps Survivors Become Whole Again
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