Facing Breast Cancer as a Parent
- Katie Stanley, of Tansley, England, was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer at age 31, not long after she noticed something unusual on her breast while breastfeeding her daughter.
- Trying to catch breast cancer at the earliest stages requires that people prioritize breast self-exams and breast cancer screenings.
- There are many different recommendations regarding when people should start getting mammograms, but all women should talk with their doctor about the benefits and harms of mammography as well as when and how often they should be screened based on their individual risk factors.
- In addition, make sure you're performing breast self-exams so you know what your breasts feel like normally and you can notice if and when any changes occur.
- During a breast self-exam, SurvivorNet recommends you look for changes like: a new lump, new swelling, changes to the nipple (such as puckering), flaking or redness in the breast or nipple, nipple discharge (including blood) and pain in the breast.
Stanley, whose children were just two and four at the time of her diagnosis, discovered she had an aggressive form of stage 3 breast cancer in 2021. She was diagnosed at age 31 and had no family history of the disease.
Read MoreExpert Breast Cancer Info
“When I was having my treatment, the nurses would look after me and we'd chat about things. They gave me advice on how to talk to the children about it without using jargon,” she explained.
“They gave me a book called Mummy’s Lump to help them understand. My older child, Noah, was four at the time so was quite aware of what was going on and knew that mummy was poorly.”
As Stanley recovers, she has continued to tell her story and raise money for the Macmillan Cancer Support charity in hopes to give back. She is grateful for all the help she’s received from the NGS Macmillan Unit at Chesterfield Royal Hospital.
“I thought I want to do something to give back as they've given so much time to me. There was nothing that was ever too much,” she told the Derbyshire Times. “They were always there with advice, or if I had questions or anything.”
In a Facebook post from earlier this year, Stanley celebrated raising nearly $3,000 to date, and she hopes to raise more.
Back in 2021, when Stanley took to Facebook to share her cancer news, she offered more insight into what led to her cancer diagnosis.
“August last year I found a lump in my right breast, off to the doctors I went where they initially treated me for mastitis (infection). September rolls round and still no change so back off I go, where I was referred to hospital for a scan,” she explained in a Facebook post on her fundraising page.
She was again told to return in a few months. By then, the lump had grown and become painful. And that’s when tests revealed it was cancer.
She concluded by urging, “Ladies (and men) please check yourselves and if ANYTHING doesn’t feel right please get it checked out.”
Know the Signs of Breast Cancer
Stage three breast cancer, the type Katie Stanley was diagnosed with, typically refers to a relatively large tumor that may have invaded nearby skin or muscle tissue. It may also mean that lymph nodes near your breast and/or under your armpit are involved.
In most cases, stage three breast cancer will need chemotherapy. If the cancer is also hormone receptor-positive, aggressive hormonal therapy may be offered as well.
It’s always important to try and catch the disease at the earliest stages and requires that people prioritize breast self-exams and breast cancer screenings.
What is Stage Three Breast Cancer?
There are many different recommendations regarding when people should start getting mammograms. An independent panel of experts called the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently changed their guidelines to say that women of average risk should begin with screenings every other year starting at age 40, but other organizations like the American Cancer Society say “women between 40 and 44 have the option to start screening with a mammogram every year.”
Still, there is a consensus that all women should talk with their doctor about the benefits and harms of mammography as well as when and how often they should be screened based on their individual risk factors.
According to the National Cancer Institute, “Women with risk factors for breast cancer, such as certain changes in the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene or certain genetic syndromes may be screened at a younger age and more often.”
Talk to your doctor about an individualized screening plan and ask questions like whether or not you have dense breasts and if a 3D mammogram is right for you.
To have dense breasts means you have more fibroglandular tissue and less of the fatty breast tissue. This can make it more difficult for a regular mammogram to detect cancer, so a 3D mammogram, which looks at the tissue in several layers, may better detect cancer.
In addition, make sure you're performing breast self-exams. SurvivorNet advisor Dr. Elizabeth Comen says breast cancer prevention and awareness begin with making sure women are comfortable with their breasts and knowledgeable of what they feel like normally.
Getting to Know Your Breasts with Self-Exams
“For some women, that may mean going to their doctor and walking through what a self-breast exam might feel like so that they know what normal breast tissue feels like, so that if they do feel anything abnormal whether it's a lump or discharge from the nipple that they know what to ask and what to look for,” she said.
During a breast self-exam, SurvivorNet recommends you look for changes like:
- A new lump in the breast
- New swelling in the breast
- Changes to the nipple (such as puckering)
- Flaking or redness in the breast or nipple
- Discharge (including blood) coming from the nipple
- Pain in the breast
Don't hesitate to talk to a medical professional if you have one or more of the symptoms above. You never know when addressing a change to your breasts could lead to a serious diagnosis.
Tips for Parents Struggling to Talk About Their Cancer
After a cancer diagnosis, talking about it can be challenging, especially when children are on the other end of the conversation. It's important to prepare them for what might happen in the future, but you want to be gentle with this sensitive subject.
If parents find themselves nervous before having this conversation, New York-based licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin said children can pick up on their emotions, so it may help to check in with yourself beforehand.
“If at this moment, you are feeling scared, it might be helpful to calm and soothe yourself first before speaking to your child,” she said.
“Having these conversations may bring up deep emotions you may have stowed away. There is nothing wrong with showing our emotions to children as long as we can remain calm and give them a sense of safety,” she said.
Helping them feel safe can mean giving them tools and strategies to manage their feelings about the situation.
“I love using my childhood self when explaining anything to children," Dr. Strongin explained. “I might say, ‘when I was your age, I remember feeling scared of many things, but one thing that always helped is taking three very deep breaths and telling my body it will be okay.’
“It is these kinds of dialogues that allow our children to feel safe and in control.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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