When a Diagnosis Impacts Your Relationships
- “Golden Bachelor” star Gerry Turner, 74, revealed he has Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia, a rare, slow-growing form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. He expressed disappointment in ex-wife Theresa Nist’s reaction to his diagnosis in his memoir, saying her emotional distance contributed to their breakup and made him feel insignificant.
- Therapists say that a cancer diagnosis can either deepen emotional bonds or expose relationship fractures, depending on communication and support systems.
- Family psychologist Dr. Susan McDaniel says, “For healthy couples, the petty stuff drifts away. There’s a certain kind of intimacy in facing something really serious, but for couples with significant difficulties, the illness can hit those fault lines hard.”
- Non-Hodgkin lymphoma treatment depends on the type, stage, and how fast it grows. People with aggressive non-Hodgkin lymphoma can expect to get chemotherapy such as R-CHOP.
However, some Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma patients may benefit from immunotherapy and targeted therapy. - According to research published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the standard treatment for diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (DLBCL) is a chemotherapy drug combination called R-CHOP. While it helps many patients, only about 60% are cured. A newer antibody-drug conjugate, which is a type of targeted cancer therapy that works like a guided missile for cancer cells, called polatuzumab vedotin, targets a protein found on most cancerous B cells, offering a more precise approach to treatment.
In his memoir “Golden Years: What I’ve Learned from Love, Loss, and Reality TV,” Turner reflects on the emotional toll of the diagnosis and the disappointment he felt in Nist’s response.
{Photo: Instagram/goldengerryturner)
WATCH: The type of lymphoma you have matters.
According to Clinical Hematology International, Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia “is a B-cell malignancy characterized by lymphoplasmacytic cells in the bone marrow,” and treatment often involves “chemoimmunotherapy with bendamustine plus rituximab or ibrutinib” for patients with non-acute symptoms.
For patients without acute symptoms, treatment may be deferred—a strategy known as watchful waiting. Turner explained on the “Bachelor Happy Hour” podcast, “Until I have symptoms, there’s no treatment.”
This approach, while medically sound for indolent (slow-growing) lymphomas like Turner’s, can be emotionally taxing.
“Watchful waiting is a wonderful and a terrible thing all at the same time,” said Dr. Caitlin Costello of UC San Diego Health. It’s often used when the cancer isn’t causing symptoms or affecting vital organs, but it requires careful monitoring and a risk-benefit analysis before initiating treatment.
WATCH: Deciding When to Begin Treatment
Non-Hodgkin lymphoma encompasses a wide range of blood cancers originating in lymphocytes, the immune system’s infection-fighting cells. As Dr. Julie Vose of the University of Nebraska Medical Center explains, these cancers are classified by whether they stem from B-cells or T-cells, each requiring different treatment paths.
Turner’s journey with cancer follows another profound loss—his wife Toni passed away in 2017 after 43 years of marriage. On “The Golden Bachelor,” he leaned on his daughters and granddaughters for support, honoring a pact he and Toni had made to pursue happiness after loss.
Theresa Nist, for her part, has pushed back against Turner’s portrayal. On the “Dear Shandy” podcast, she said she had known about his diagnosis “for a long time” and felt he was exaggerating its severity. Their conflicting accounts reflect the emotional complexity of navigating illness, grief, and public scrutiny.
Stories On Love, Relationships and a Diagnosis
Navigating Relationships Through a Diagnosis
A cancer diagnosis doesn’t just affect your body—it reshapes your relationships, often in ways no one expects. For breast cancer survivor and advocate Melissa Berry, the emotional toll of treatment tested her sense of self and her closest bonds.
“In some ways [cancer] can bring people together, it can make you much stronger, or it can weaken a relationship,” Berry shared.
WATCH: When Someone You Love is Facing Cancer — Be Patient
“I experienced incredible mood swings, and I, at times, felt like I didn’t even recognize myself. I think it’s important for the people that are close to the patient to understand that you’re going to be going through some really rough stuff … not just physically, but emotionally.”
Berry’s experience echoes a broader reality: illness can be a crucible for couples. A study from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center found that women are six times more likely to be separated or divorced after a cancer diagnosis—especially when the male partner is the one facing illness. Researchers suggest this may stem from differences in caregiving commitment and emotional resilience between genders.
Family psychologist Dr. Susan McDaniel told “The Today Show” that cancer can either deepen intimacy or expose unresolved fractures. “For healthy couples, the petty stuff drifts away. There’s a certain kind of intimacy in facing something really serious,” she said. “But for couples with significant difficulties, the illness can hit those fault lines hard.”
Tools for Staying Connected Through Cancer
Mind-body therapist Michael Uhl, speaking with City of Hope, offered practical strategies to help couples stay strong during a cancer journey:
- Keep communication open and honest
- Lean on coping strategies to manage stress together
- Respect each other’s need for alone time
- Preserve intimacy—emotional closeness matters as much as physical closeness
- Do activities you both enjoy
- Expand your support network to share caregiving tasks
- Join support groups with shared experiences
- Hold each other accountable for healthy habits
- Avoid blame—focus on teamwork
- Consider therapy to navigate this new chapter together
Better Understanding Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma
“Non-Hodgkin lymphoma is a big category,” Dr. Vose previously told SurvivorNet.
All non-Hodgkin lymphomas begin in white blood cells known as lymphocytes, which are part of your body’s immune system. From there, doctors separate these cancers into types depending on the specific kind of lymphocytes they grow from, B-cells or T-cells.
WATCH: The type of lymphoma you have matters.
Knowing which of these you have can help steer you to the most appropriate treatment.
One way doctors divide up these cancers is based on how fast they’re likely to grow and spread. “The two main classifications I think of in terms of non-Hodgkin lymphoma are lymphomas that are more indolent and those that are more aggressive because those are treated very differently,” Dr. Jennifer Crombie, medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, tells SurvivorNet.
Once you’ve been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma, the next question your doctor will want to answer is whether you have B-cell or T-cell lymphoma. That answer is important because it will help determine your treatment.
B-cells and T-cells are two kinds of lymphocytes. They’re both infection-fighting cells, but they work in different ways.
About 85% of non-Hodgkin lymphomas affect B cells. These cells produce antibodies, proteins that react to foreign substances like viruses or bacteria in your body. The antibodies attach to another protein on the surface of the invading cells, called an antigen, to target and destroy them.
Types of B-cell lymphoma include:
- Diffuse large B-cell lymphoma
- Follicular lymphoma
- Small lymphocytic lymphoma (SLL)/chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL)
- Mantle cell lymphoma
- Marginal zone lymphomas
- Burkitt lymphoma
- T-cell lymphomas make up only 15% of non-Hodgkin lymphomas. Unlike B-cells,
- T-cells directly destroy bacteria and other invaders.
Types of T-cell lymphoma include:
- T-lymphoblastic lymphoma/leukemia
- Peripheral T-cell lymphomas
- Cutaneous T-cell lymphoma
What Treatment for Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma Looks Like?
Lymphoma treatment largely depends on the nature of your specific diagnosis. For non-Hodgkin lymphoma patients, their cancer is more likely to spread randomly and be discovered in different groups of lymph nodes in the body. Hodgkin lymphoma cancers, on the other hand, are more likely to grow consistently from one group of lymph nodes directly to another.
WATCH: Non-Hodgkin lymphoma treatment options
“There are some lymphomas that are very treatable but not curable,” Dr. Lawrence Piro told SurvivorNet.
Dr. Lawrence Piro is the President and CEO of The Angeles Clinic and Research Institute in Los Angeles, a Cedars-Sinai affiliate. He adds that some lymphomas progress quickly if left untreated.
Non-Hodgkin lymphoma treatment depends on the type, stage, and how fast it grows. People with aggressive non-Hodgkin lymphoma can expect to get a chemotherapy combination called R-CHOP, which is a drug cocktail consisting of chemotherapy drugs plus an antibody drug and a steroid to treat diffuse large B-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
R-CHOP stands for:
- R: Rituximab (Rituxan) is a monoclonal antibody that attaches to a specific protein called CD20, which sits on the surface of B cells. It targets cancerous cells and destroys them.
- C: Cyclophosphamide is a type of chemotherapy drug
- D: Doxorubicin hydrochloride (hydroxydaunomycin) is a type of chemotherapy drug
- V: Vincristine sulfate (Oncovin) is a type of chemotherapy drug
- P: Prednisone is a steroid that lowers inflammation
Patients receiving R-CHOP receive the drug in six cycles that are three weeks apart.
“R-CHOP is a cocktail of drugs. There are five different drugs in that recipe,” Dr. Jennifer Crombie, medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, tells SurvivorNet.
WATCH: Understanding R-CHOP treatment.
R-CHOP side effects can include:
- Tiredness and weakness
- Hair loss
- Mouth sores
- Bruising and bleeding
- Increased risk of infection
- Appetite loss and weight loss
- Changes in bowel movements
Immunotherapy and targeted therapy are also treatment options for Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma patients.
Rituximab (Rituxan) was the first immunotherapy drug approved to treat some forms of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. “Rituximab is the immunotherapy that has been approved the longest, and we have the most experience with lymphoma,” Dr. Chong tells SurvivorNet.
Rituxan has side effects, including fever, chills, swelling under the skin, itching, and mild shortness of breath.
Brentuximab vedotin (Adcetris) is a relatively new targeted treatment for non-Hodgkin lymphoma and Hodgkin lymphoma. This drug is an antibody-drug conjugate that combines an antibody (a type of protein that recognizes foreign substances in the body) with a drug that treats cancer. It uses a particular protein to deliver medicine directly to the cancer cell.
Non-Hodgkin lymphoma can also be treated with radiation, which aims beams of intense energy at the cancer to stop cancer cells from growing and dividing.
Questions for Your Doctor
If you are dealing with a lymphoma diagnosis, it’s important to ask your doctor a series of questions so you will have an idea of what your next steps will look like. To help you during this difficult time, SurvivorNet has some questions to kickstart your conversation with your physician.
- What type of lymphoma do I have?
- What does my pathology report say about my diagnosis?
- Should I get a second opinion before I explore possible treatment options?
- Based on my diagnosis, what do you anticipate my treatment path?
- What common side effects should I expect when I begin treatment?
- Will I be able to continue working and performing normal daily activities during treatment?
- Where can I get help working with the insurance company regarding treatment costs?
- Who do you recommend I get mental health help from during my treatment?
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