When Duane “Dog” Chapman recently posted a photo of him and a smiling Moon Angell, the former assistant to his wife Beth who died from cancer this past summer, he set off a social media storm about his dating life. Some, most notably his daughter, Lyssa Rae Chapman, were furious that he seemingly was moving on, and with a close family friend.
View this post on InstagramRead More For every supportive comment were angry ones, some accusing Dog of being disrespectful.“I’m really shocked of the respect that isnt there from your dad for your mom. We all know she disliked moon and said she was a snake an for duane to do this I’ve lost so much respect because thats no way to honor the woman he claimed to love so much,” read one Twitter comment.
But as social media debated the question of “should he or shouldn’t he,” the real question, as many in the SurvivorNet community well know, is how does someone know they’re ready for romance after losing a loved one to cancer?
Gauge Your Ability to Open Up
“Assume you are physiologically impaired after a great loss,” Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of Sociology at the University of Washington, author and relationship expert on A&E’s “Married at First Sight,” tells SurvivorNet in an email.
For some people, grief looks like depression, she says, but others who’ve lost a spouse or partner might experience mood swings ranging from elation to despair. Either way, she explains, it’s important to remember that “for longer than you realize, you are not competent to make life-changing decisions.”
After Loss: The Signs of Dating-Readiness
You’re not ready to date if you can’t focus on anything but the person you’ve lost, says Schwartz. “You should at least be in a situation where you can concentrate on the person you’re meeting,” she explains, “rather than have the conversations only about loss.”
If years go by and the grieving spouse still can’t focus on anything but their loss, “then expert counseling is necessary,” Schwartz notes.
Proceed with Caution
Although it may be hard to believe at the outset, “there comes a time, even after the most grievous loss when the heart is ready to open up again,” Schwartz says. “I think most people know when that time occurs.”
Even then, she says, proceed with caution: “Open your heart but don’t sign any contracts — i.e. marriage — or move in with someone.”
Beth Chapman’s Cancer Journey
Beth Chapman was diagnosed with stage 2 throat cancer in 2017 at age 51. After initial treatment, she was declared cancer free. But in 2018, she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. In 2019, Beth decided to forego cancer treatment, instead of choosing to spend her last months with her family doing what she loved most catching fugitives.
Beth died at age 51 in Honolulu, surrounded by family members. The Chapman family held two emotional memorial services, one in Hawaii and one in Aurora, Colo. The two locations were where most of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" was shot, and where they often spent their free time.
‘Never Be Another Mrs. Dog’
In an interview with ET, Dog confirmed that like so many couples, he and Beth had the difficult discussion about him moving on romantically before she passed away and they came to an agreement, he told ET. Dog will never marry again, and he will always keep her named tattooed on his chest. "There will never be another Mrs. Dog," he said with tears in his eyes. He has since denied rumors of a romance.
Dealing Publicly with Grief
Most celebrities have to grapple with their grief in the public eye of course. "Little by little, Day by day” were the words that helped singer Celine Dion as she slowly recovered from the grief of losing her husband to complications from throat cancer. The words became a song called "Recovering."
René Angélil, Dion’s husband who also managed her music career, also had throat cancer. Dion said Rene was the only man she ever loved and the only man she ever kissed.
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