Deciding When to Share a Cancer Diagnosis Isn't Always Easy
- Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli, a 21-year-old rapper known as Bhad Bhabie, has admitted that she’s been taking “cancer medication,” which she claims caused her to lose weight.
- It’s unclear what type or stage cancer Bregoli was diagnosed with or what type of treatment she’s undergoing or underwent, but her story is a reminder on the importance of privacy and deciding whether to come forward with a cancer diagnosis.
- Some people battling a disease like cancer are open to sharing their experiences as much as they can, while others prefer to keep it to themselves. SurvivorNet experts say both approaches and everything in between are valid.
- It’s important to remember that choosing to share a cancer journey is a personal choice, whether you’re a celebrity or not, and the same goes for other private topics.
- “Body image is both the mental picture that you have of your body and the way you feel about your body when you look in a mirror,” Dr. Marianna Strongin, a New York-based licensed clinical psychologist, tells SurvivorNet. “As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body.”
Bregoli—who rose to fame after appearing on the “Dr. Phil” show back in 2016 and saying her iconic phrase “Cash me outside, how ’bout that?”—took to her Instagram story to write, “I’m sorry that my cancer medication made me loose [sic] weight.”
She was seen talking in a video clip, those talking negatively about her daughter, “Go find another way to make some money beside talking s*** about other people.
“How dare you. And, I pray to God that none of your children never get cancer, okay? I’ve had it twice. How dare you say my daughter is faking this.”
Bregoli’s mom always shared a photo of herself on her Instagram story, writing alongside it, “For all those individuals commenting on cancer and cancer meds just bloating you. This was me one year after my 1st diagnosis.”
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Neither Bregoli or her mom have specified what type of cancer they’ve battled or are battling.
The news also comes about eight months after Bregoli welcomed her first child, daughter Kali Love, with her boyfriend Le Vaughn.
It appears Bregoli decided to take to her Instagram story to tell her fans about her “cancer” journey after critics took to the comments section of a photo featuring her in an AC/DC shirt, a denim mini skirt, and a colorful Louis Vuitton bag. Some suggested she took Ozempic while others
Some of the better commentary reads “STOP BODY SHAMING” and “Instead of judging just say a prayer for her.”
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We understand that battling cancer is an incredibly private matter and there’s no right or wrong way for someone battling a disease to tell others, or not, about a health struggle. This is something “Dawson’s Creek” actor James Van Der Beek and late “Beverly Hills, 90210” star Shannen Doherty understand all too well as they have felt that their privacy was disrespected during their cancer journeys.
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We’re happy to see Bregoli maintaining her confidence throughout her cancer treatment, despite coping with something that has led her to lose weight.
Remember, it’s important how you view your body because it can positively impact your emotional and physical well-being as a whole.
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“Every day of our lives is really filled with uncertainty” but those facing a cancer diagnosis tend to feel that uncertainty at a more extreme level, Dr. William Breitbart, the chair of the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, previously told SurviorNet.
Dr. Breitbart also said that learning to embrace that uncertainty is a part of living, not just for those fighting cancer, but for everyone.
“What the task becomes is having the courage to live in the face of uncertainty, realizing that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty in life, like the suffering that occurs, challenges both good and bad,” Dr. Breitbart says.
“You may not be able to control those but you have control over how you choose to respond.”
Meanwhile, Dr. Marianna Strongin, a New York-based licensed clinical psychologist, also has some helpful advice. She encourages people that spending time in front of the mirror can help with body image.
Although “research has found that when looking in the mirror we are more likely to focus on the parts of our body we are dissatisfied with” which can cause “a negative self-view and lower self-esteem,” it’s important to look at the parts of your body that you love and the parts of your body that you don’t.
Eventually, Dr. Strongin says, doing so can help you create a more accepting relationship with yourself.
“Body image is both the mental picture that you have of your body and the way you feel about your body when you look in a mirror,” she said. “As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body.”
MORE: My Confidence Was Destroyed: Dealing With Body Image During Cancer Treatment
Whether you are living with cancer or some other type of illness, it’s important to know you’re not alone if you’re having a hard time with how you view your body after receiving a diagnosis or going through treatment.
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The Choice to Share
The choice to share or not share one’s cancer diagnosis is a personal one for anyone facing the disease, even if they’re not a celebrity. While some people choose to share only with close friends and family, others post their entire journey on social media, create blogs and detail their treatments, side effects and doctor reports.
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According to Dr. Renee Exelbert, a licensed psychologist and founding director of The Metamorphosis Center for Psychological and Physical Change in New York, the decision to openly disclose or not disclose one’s diagnosis may be made more complicated for someone in the public eye, as they may feel pressure to serve as a role model, or to use their notable platform for the greater good.
She says public figures and celebrities are often held to a harsher standard, frequently having their appearance and behaviors rigorously evaluated. This might make hiding a cancer diagnosis more difficult and may also make disclosing a cancer diagnosis a greater burden to bear.
Also, just because someone is a public figure or celebrity does not spare them from judgment and the insensitive comments of others, especially while they may be fighting for their life.
Dr. Exelbert says the decision to disclose or not disclose a cancer diagnosis is a very individual and personal one in any case.
“Certain Individuals may feel as though their sense of self has been deeply impacted by their diagnosis, and they want to keep it private. At their core, certain individuals may struggle with appearing weak, vulnerable or sick, and particularly do not want to withstand the opinion or commentary of others while facing a cancer diagnosis,” she explained.
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“Additionally, some may feel that revealing a cancer diagnosis may pose a threat to their sense of professional identity and how capable they are perceived by others.”
Dr. Exelbert also said some may feel they don’t have the coping resources to withstand scrutiny, whereas others may welcome the distraction and attention. Most importantly, however, she said there is no right or wrong approach.
“When an individual experiences trauma, which cancer certainly is, they need to be in charge of how their story is told in order to avoid further disempowerment.
“Thus, the decision to disclose or not to disclose should be wholly and rightfully left up to each individual.”
So, is one way more beneficial than the other? Dr. Exelbert says there are pros and cons to sharing.
“A positive aspect of sharing one’s diagnosis on social media is the potential to receive an outpouring of support, occasionally from people all over the world who have experienced something similar, and who may be able to offer useful suggestions,” Exelbert says. “Additionally, someone’s unique story may catch the attention of those performing clinical trials or offering unique treatment options, looking for participants.”
She said the ability to inspire countless people with one’s experience and story can also be a very powerful motivating factor.
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“Some individuals are looking to chronicle their journey, almost as testament to what they have experienced and to leave a legacy. It might additionally be beneficial to publicly share one’s story, as it can serve as a platform to educate others about cancer and its emotional and physical symptoms, as well as challenge stigma and change society.”
On the other hand, she says a con of revealing one’s diagnosis on social media is that people may share unsolicited stories of poor outcomes that they have either heard about, or experienced personally, many of which are unrelated to your particular situation. For example, some may tell you they know someone who had the same type of cancer, but died, which can be overwhelming and create undue stress.
“Additionally, once you share your diagnosis, you often have to manage the emotional experience of others,” Dr. Exelbert told SurvivorNet. “Sometimes, people will be very upset by your diagnosis and need you to take care of them or make your situation easier for them to deal with. This can prove quite difficult when you are barely in control of managing your own emotions. Further, many individuals might find it quite difficult to present themselves in such a vulnerable way on social media, as many often utilize this medium to garner accolades from presenting their ‘ideal self’ versus their ‘real self.’”
No matter what someone’s choice is when it comes to sharing a cancer diagnosis, the most important thing is that they feel support. For some, support from a few close friends, family members or professionals may be enough, while others need to feel connected on a larger scale. The last thing anyone needs is to be made to feel bad about that choice.
It’s important to remember that due to cancer treatment not being a one size fits all approach, it affects everyone different mentally, and not everyone feels comfortable sharing what they are going through with others in social situations.
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Some people want to share their experiences as much as they can and others don’t want to tell anyone. Both of these approaches, and everything in between (maybe you only want to tell a few close friends about your diagnosis), are valid.
“Patients who have just been diagnosed with cancer sometimes wonder how they are going to handle the diagnosis of the cancer in social situations,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik explained to SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
“How much information they should share and with whom they should share the information … everybody is different.”
Dr. Plutchik explains that some share the information widely, with family, friends, and beyond and feel comfortable doing so. “Other people are much more private about it,” she says. “And there is no one right way to handle this diagnosis.
“People should do what feels right to them. Going through a cancer diagnosis, through treatment, is often a very long process. And then if you also include after treatment ends where a person is in a kind of state of limbo, waiting to see if they are clear and get their scans. It may be three months or six months into the future. People are still dealing with uncertainty at that point,” she explains.
Dr. Plutchik also stresses that those close to a person going through cancer should be respectful of their wishes when it comes to disclosing their diagnosis and seeking support.
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Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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